I am made up of every single thing I love. This means that I am made of so many people, so many things, so many events, so many passions, so many places and so much more. This can be the reason why I crumble down so easily. Because I know I could not be a perfect whole, and I am not able to fully accept it.

I am just so frustrated that I am not able to please every piece of myself. That I could not convince myself that things go wrong, and it could be my fault. But there's just so much love for me to give, that I thought you'd be able to see through all of my intentions. And through all of who I am.

I am just so frustrated. To always be wrong. To be forever condemned through your vision. I just want to be able to let go. I am so hurt. But I so love you. I just don't want to wait for the time that I become so numb that I forget.

Ugh. I'm so pissed right now. Everything's not going according to my plans. :/ Out of control! I can't even calm myself down. :|

Dear, _________________



It's been almost two years now, and you have chosen to not make amends with me. I know that it's a hard step to make, and that you should be entitled to your own decisions because you have reasons -- but we can't just hide from each other forever. Someday, you will have to face the fact that things have changed, and we have to change with it. Each happening in our lives has its lessons, and I'm sure that the particular happening that coincided with both of our lives have helped us become stronger and better individuals. It doesn't have to remain this way forever.

I don't want to sleep with a heavy heart. Nor do I want to continually be guessing about the way you feel about me. You've been hurt -- I've been hurt. We don't have to be strangers to one another. At the end of the day, we're just girls -- we've gone through similar ups and downs in our lives, and I understand you. 

Moreover, you have to accept that I exist, please don't deny it. If I were to be given a choice, I would like to be friends with you. I would like to start over, and see you in a different light. It all starts with acceptance, and things will follow. :)

PS: You can't just block me forever, ok? :)) So let's just be friends.

Discipline is key. I'm looking forward to the day when I can definitely say to myself that I have full control over my emotions and my actions. Until then, I would be hurting the people I love. :(

Back back back.

Met with my bestest bud evar, Micah a while ago in Trinoma. :) What a happy daldalan time! Seems like we never were apart! So many kwentos. Missed ya, girl! You and I are wonderful wonderful individuals. Go girl power! :D



Note to Micah's future boyfriend: Give her a lamb stuffed animal with big innocent eyes and a birth certificate. The bead stuffings must have lavender scent. :)