I don't post that much anymore. Maybe because I am busy and I don't have regular internet connection. It's better. For me not to procrastinate a lot. The holidays are making me lethargic and out-of-touch from my schoolwork. I'm glad I finally quit alcoholic beverages and coffee. I decided I'm not the alcohol-party-wild person I once envisioned myself to be. It just looks too tacky when I try to look at people who are like that. Anyway. I will random-post a lot now. It's one procrastination I won't try to avoid cus I know it's a de-stressor. I'm juggling so many things right now. I'm scared of graduating. I don't want to graduate yet. I just want to study more. I think it's not enough. I don't even know if I'll pass the LAE. I want to go to Ateneo though. My parents want the good ol' UP. Oh well. 

Will work now. Write some more coherent posts next time. :D

Very random and magulo.

Bottomline is - I've changed. And these changes make me feel antagonistic of myself. Because in a way, I knew I wasn't ready for any changes in my life. All I knew was excitement and how it feeds your soul - gives you a rush and makes your heart beat faster. I never thought that to a certain extent, I was also young, fickle, weak, and hormone-driven. I always thought I was the different kid. The stronger one. But everyone breaks. Unfortunately, I break too easily -- I didn't know til I tested it.

I don’t want to lie anymore. Having the knowledge of the truth is not a privilege. It is a right. And in lying to people, you take that right away from them to satisfy your convenience. In lying you are a selfish, selfish person. You think only of yourself because you’d rather preserve your dignity than conquer your fear of the real consequences of your actions.

When you’re a liar, you are an insecure person. And you know it. You even use your insecurity and self pity to justify your wrong actions.  You’re not the only one involved in the blunder – when you lie, automatically, people’s actions become lies as well. You force them to lie, much more; you force them in a situation you created yourself.

You force people to lie for you. You never even allow them to choose. At work are your principles alone. You’re selfish.   

The people I love do not deserve lies. I lied to them. I don’t think I even deserve the truth anymore.

I have so much plans for myself this year.
Last year, I've been too cautious.
This year, I will take a plunge and try all things new:
in friendship, love, career, religion.
I will not be afraid to be happy nor to hurt. :-)</div>

Honey, It'll always be you I'd find first in the party.
Let's get lost in the crowd. Dance slow, with the tune in Samba.
Breathe into me your cocktail-intoxicated breath
and touch me where I want to be touched when the lights start to go dim.
It'll be 12 am by that time, and everyone's touching everbody else.
I'd pull my stockings down and take off my shoes. And we'd dance all night. All night.

I so don't have privacy anymore. I guess the friends-only block does me no good. I don't care. I thought I would have more incentive and confidence to write freely (and tactlessly, devoid of any societal constraints) when I have only my friends viewing my blog. But oh well. If people are really that interested in viewing this, GO AHEAD. I don't feel violated, (well not anymore. I felt it at first, but hey, I love being optimistic.) on the contrary I feel very special. Some people are paying attention to me at least. I don't need to beg for any. :D

1. The purpose of friend-locking is to protect myself and other people who may not want to be bothered by my silly posts. However, I feel as if it has been canceled out by the same individual(s), since they seem to want to to know about it, and they felt comfortable being bothered. Again, OH WELL. I did my part.
    
2. The my purpose of putting privacy blocks is not just for myself, but for people to not be hurt whatsoever. So if people still try viewing regardless the protection I am so generously providing them, (and they find out they are not happy with what they read) well sorry, they have to deal with it.

If you are not ready to find something, then don't look for it. Because if you ask for it, you'll get it.

No need for incentives to motivate me! I will write whatever I want to write, say whatever I want to say. :D

Gosh, I don't want to be restricted for the inconvenient reasons.

And the IRONY. This post is friends-only. Hi friends! (and strangers) :D

Every time I see an Economics book or any article of sort relating to Economics, the world suddenly reminds me of how blessed I am in so many other aspects and fields -- except Economics. I was confident enough to speak of Economics as my favorite subject back in high school, but the horrors of hell when I reached college and discovered that the damn subject's not just about budgeting and computing how many chocolates you can eat until you vomit. So my love affair with that science ended abruptly (and the pain was even furthered upon receiving my grade). So I promised myself I would be better in all my other classes to appease myself of the heartbreak that subject gave me. And all along I thought that it was finally my medium of reconciliation with the world of Mathematics. I was mistaken.

( Why I hate Econ )

That is why shock of my life when I -- in a super teeny weeny almost negligible way, kinda enjoyed reading the introduction (hey it's the introduction, not the actual content yet, so it's still subject to 2 or 3 chapters of test reading.) of this book of my brother's: "The Accidental Theorist" by Paul Krugman. It's approach is witty and humorous, so I guess I'll stick with this for quite some time, until I lay my hands on Dante or another Fitzgerald. Summer would be books, internet and jogging for me, then.

What if Nick was Daisy's Gatsby? Her five-year affair. Her secret lover. Slipping at the back door to bring in the groceries, hiding under different names and pulling off parties so that one day, Daisy will be invited by her friends to go there to cool down on some Mint Julep. Daisy has always been happy at the thought that Nick can fill her in of everything she has not. And while Nick fills her up, he loses some of his own. That's why F. Scott Fitzgerald never paired them together. Nick doesn't got enough, but Daisy will always ask for more. Yes, they both believe in love but how long until Daisy asks again? It tires them both to be searching always.

I believe in Daisy, though. I trust that even in the event that Fitzgerald had paired them, she'll know what's best for her. She'll find her Gatsby soon.

Some yo momma jokes and insults

This is so crazy and mean at the same time I was laughing my ass off for like an hour!
(Or am I just really a geek?)
Check it out:

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Socialism means partying.
Yo momma's so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote.
Yo momma's so poor people rob her house for practice.
Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick-or-treats on the phone.
Yo momma's so ugly that she went to an Ugly Contest and they said, "sorry no professionals".
Yo momma's so dumb she failed a survey.
Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonald's.
Yo momma's so old she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Yo momma's so old one of her pets was on on Noah's Ark.
Yo momma's so old I looked in her year book and saw Jesus.
Yo momma's so old she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.
Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.
If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.
I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes.
I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
You're so dumb, blondes tell jokes about you.
You're a person of rare intelligence. It's rare when you show any.